Musings, by Jimmy Neal

p   

08-20-10  

Wives lie for their husbands, X-wives inform on them.

A picture is worth a thousand words, only if one knows a thousand words.

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him a fish.

I won't go to one of them Tea Parties, them people just don't look like they're havin any fun.

Isn't it ironic that the people yelling for English as the official language of America, can't speak it properly.

How much does it cost to educate a Teabagger?  Don't know, it's never been done.

If shit was money, wouldn't the rich smell pretty bad?  No, they launder their money.

03-29-10   Bumper stickers:

I love animals, they taste great.

EARTH FIRST! We'll strip-mine the other planets later.

"Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes."

Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.

The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.

He who laughs last thinks slowest!

Give me ambiguity or give me something else.

A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.

Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.

03-25-10   Mr. and Mrs. Herald Ho welcome the birth of their baby girl Iwana Goud.

03-24-10   In the news today, The new Tea Party had their first convention, nominating The Madd Hatter as their first official candidate for President.  Mr. Hatter chose Alice as his running mate for the 2012 election.

03-23-10   Republican Health Care Reform.....sfjhsh asdfad asf asdfd asdgrtyty uiortweryi wryetk ertrtiuy fgih.

News Flash.....Tiger Woods swings the club again, 2 reporters hospitalized.

News Flash.....Tiger Woods back to work, unemployment down at Mustang Ranch.

Karl Rove's new book sold out in one day, but his check bounced.

Economic News.....CEO salaries up 400%.  Middle class bankruptcies up 400%.

Ted Haggard falls to his knees in prayer at homosexual convention.

Tammy Faye Baker on tour, Mary Kay profits up 200%.

Jimmy Swaggart back in the pulpit, pornography sales at an all time low.

Pat Robertson resigns, unemployment up 50% for comedians.

The Tea Party got off the ground today, somebody spiked the punch with acid.   Sarah Palin's speech was quite colorful, literally.

Toyota announced today that they would lobby U.S. Congress for increase in speed limit.  Stock prices soared out of control.

On a serious note.  Two black Congressmen were called niggers and one was spat on while entering the capital building to vote on the Health Care Bill.  On Monday after the vote, two "tweeters" called for the assassination of President Obama.  The Republican party is out of control and needs to be disbanded immediately.  They have officially become the "Party of Traitors."  There is simply no excuse for this shit.  

03-22-10   The aroma of a dozen roses pales in comparison to the smell of a dog turd under the table.  The Republican party is the turd in the room.

Conservatives want a Bible in every home, Liberals want food in every home.

Redneck immigration reform:  If it ain't white, shoot it.

Alabama sibling legislation:  From this day forward, brothers and sisters shall remain siblings after the divorce.

Definition of a genius in Alabama.....A high School graduate.

News Flash.....Alabama Governor's mansion caught fire, burnt slap down to the wheels.

Alabama Mansion.....A 4 wheel drive trailer home.

Alabama Super Highway.....A 2 lane dirt road.

03-20-10   New Republican policy....No CEO left behind.

If Republicans are so interested in deficit neutral legislation, why did they leave us with a $10 trillion debt?

Every Democrats wants Health Care.  Every Republican don't care.

What does "One Nation Under God" really mean when everyone has a different perception of who and what God is?

Who was that thief ?  A CEO.

If Trickle down Economics really worked, we'd all be rich now.